Team Green

Since Joshua and I are not finding out the baby's sex, we are part of "team green". The other teams are, of course, "team blue" for boys and "team pink" for girls. First of all, I wonder why are they called "teams"? Are we all fighting each other and who is the coach telling us how to play? If there was one team I would want my child to feel a loyalty to it would be the ambiguous green team (here hopefully my child can explore the best of all worlds). If my child wants to play soccer and be a princess, he/she has that right. My child may discover that he/she wants to be part of team blue or team pink, and I think it will be easier for her/him to make a step in that direction rather than a huge leap from pink to blue (or blue to pink).

I am amazed at how much all baby stuff is genderized from clothes to car seats. Walking into stores, there are distinctly a boys section and a girls section. Being team green is challenging as this "mysterious" gender does not fit into the binary categories of boy or girl. Part of my reason for not wishing to find out the sex of my future kid is to not place it into one of these extreme categories. My boy may like to play with dolls and paint his nails and by all means should if that is what he wants to do. I am simply not a fan of all blue for boys and pink dresses for girls. Dressing in color coded outfits seems to make a code for the general public. "This child is pink, so you should tell her she is a beautiful princess." I think there should be some sort of in between and some sort of allowance for children to develop into the person they want to be rather than who we as parents assume they will be. I have been able to find a few outfits but it looks like my poor child is stuck with only yellow. (I haven't found much green despite my team's name.) I know that one day I will find out my child's sex and cannot live in denial that my child is biologically a boy or girl. For now, though, I am happy to think of my baby as just that... a baby. My hopes and dreams for my child does not change whether it is a boy or girl.

Here is an except from a poem by Kahlil Gibran. I find it humbling in thinking about my role as a parent. I will strive to make sure their dreams are filled with endless possibilities.

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.