My feet hurt!

First, I must say that overall I have been feeling great. It is so wonderful to be able to eat again and have energy. I hardly feel pregnant most days.. except that I have to pee in the middle of the night all the time now. My one complaint is that my feet hurt. It is mostly my right foot which has bothered me in the past. I suppose I need to go looking for some new shoes this weekend.

I feel as though the second trimester is quickly coming to an end. I am in the middle of week 23 right now. The first few months dragged on but now time is speeding by! Joshua and I have made some progress with baby purchases and decisions. We've bought a car seat and a few more outfits, and I think we have decided what stroller we want. We have also met with a couple of doulas this week and should hire one within the next week. The crib and other furniture will have to wait for a while.

I didn't think my belly was looking too big until I took this picture. I've seen other women who are about the same week as me and have thought they look so pregnant. Now looking at this picture, I think I look huge! Joshua says I look noticeably pregnant, while I still think I just look as though I have gotten fat.

Team Green

Since Joshua and I are not finding out the baby's sex, we are part of "team green". The other teams are, of course, "team blue" for boys and "team pink" for girls. First of all, I wonder why are they called "teams"? Are we all fighting each other and who is the coach telling us how to play? If there was one team I would want my child to feel a loyalty to it would be the ambiguous green team (here hopefully my child can explore the best of all worlds). If my child wants to play soccer and be a princess, he/she has that right. My child may discover that he/she wants to be part of team blue or team pink, and I think it will be easier for her/him to make a step in that direction rather than a huge leap from pink to blue (or blue to pink).

I am amazed at how much all baby stuff is genderized from clothes to car seats. Walking into stores, there are distinctly a boys section and a girls section. Being team green is challenging as this "mysterious" gender does not fit into the binary categories of boy or girl. Part of my reason for not wishing to find out the sex of my future kid is to not place it into one of these extreme categories. My boy may like to play with dolls and paint his nails and by all means should if that is what he wants to do. I am simply not a fan of all blue for boys and pink dresses for girls. Dressing in color coded outfits seems to make a code for the general public. "This child is pink, so you should tell her she is a beautiful princess." I think there should be some sort of in between and some sort of allowance for children to develop into the person they want to be rather than who we as parents assume they will be. I have been able to find a few outfits but it looks like my poor child is stuck with only yellow. (I haven't found much green despite my team's name.) I know that one day I will find out my child's sex and cannot live in denial that my child is biologically a boy or girl. For now, though, I am happy to think of my baby as just that... a baby. My hopes and dreams for my child does not change whether it is a boy or girl.

Here is an except from a poem by Kahlil Gibran. I find it humbling in thinking about my role as a parent. I will strive to make sure their dreams are filled with endless possibilities.

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

So Many Decisions!!!

There are so many things we need to decide from classes to birthing place to diapers and on and on... Joshua and I took a cloth diaper class last weekend as we would really like to this. There are so many options though for cloth diapering! You can do prefolds, all-in-ones, fitted, or inserts and you have choices with fabric. I was feeling very overwhelmed as the instructor was saying the type of diaper that will work best for your baby will all depend on your baby. But how do I prepare then?! We then took a class on "baby wearing". This was a class about all the options in baby carriers and how to wear them. Again so many options!!!

This past week I have been thinking a lot about my birth plan (or lack of therefore!). I feel limited in where/how I can give birth through my insurance. I have the one option of giving birth at St. Joe's Hospital. I won't know who my doctor is when I give birth (just whoever is on call). For the good and bad, the hospital gives the most births out of any place in Colorado. For many of these reasons plus others, I've been thinking more about hiring a doula and have set up a couple of appointments for interviews. I am hoping that by having a doula throughout my labor I can have a natural birth and feel very supported as compared to having doctors/nurses that I don't know come in my room every once in a while to give me instructions on medicine.

I also cancelled my childbirth class at the hospital this week. After researching all the many different types of classes available, I registered for a "birthing from within" course at the same place I have been taking prenatal yoga classes. This class is supposed to prepare mothers and partners for a natural birth more so than the hospital would. I was told this class also helps you prepare mentally for childbirth in ways that other classes don't really address.

So, I have made some steps this week. Got some appointments scheduled with doulas and scheduled a childbirth class. I also bought some pre-fold diapers! I was feeling a little anxious about not having bought anything for the baby yet while knowing I am half way there! So, now I have something for our little baby. It makes me feel a little accomplished even though in the back of my mind I am still wondering how will decide on the right car seat and what should be the baby's sleeping arrangement? But, for now, I will set aside all of those thoughts and be happy that I have made a few decisions this week.

Baby Belly

While I have felt huge for quite some time, I noticed today that my belly is starting to "show". Many of my clothes have been too snug for a little while and I have started wearing several maternity outfits (mostly for comfort). I still don't think I look pregnant, at least strangers wouldn't guess that I am right away, but I certainly can tell that I am getting bigger. The first picture is me at 21 weeks (today!) and the second is me at 16 weeks.

Half Way There!

We got to see little seamonkey today! I had an ultrasound and was so excited to see the baby. It was moving around a lot, waving it's arms and feet. Its legs were crossed and had its head down right now. I couldn't believe that the feet are above my belly button! Everything seemed good, but will get more information after the doctor looks at the pictures. Seamonkey weighs 13 ounces! He/she is getting so big!!! I just added some pictures to this post (my scanner is packed away so I just took some pictures of the sonogram photos). I think the photo of the foot is just adorable!

I feel kicks all the time now, and they get stronger each day. I have been feeling really good lately. No nausea or sickness, only a few headaches. I am just constantly hungry! And, of course, I have to go pee a lot. I feel as though I have gained a lot of weight even though my baby bump is still not noticeable.

I went to Washington, DC this weekend for work and did just fine on the plane. I made sure to drink plenty of water and sit in an aisle seat to be able to get up for frequent bathroom breaks. Seamonkey seemed to kick more during the flight but other than that everything seemed normal.

I have been going to yoga once or twice a week and also try to walk everyday. Since I have been feeling better, I make great efforts to make sure I get the nutrition baby and I need everyday. I have read that molasses is a great source of iron but have not quite figured out the best way to fit it into my diet. I tried putting in my soy milk but it was pretty gross. This weekend Joshua and I are going to a cloth diaper and baby wearing classes to learn more about what cloth diapers and baby slings and other carriers. Hopefully we will leave with a good idea of what we want! I am also thinking about looking into getting a doula for the birth. We may start going to some meet and greets soon.

We have started picking out some names but are keeping them to ourselves for now! :)